This
by Mrs. Abject
Summary: Sometimes people only see what they want to. Sometimes we let them. What if the girl from Things Change wasn't Terra after all? Oneshot, vaguely BBT.


**This**   
By The Mediocre Raven

(A/N: It's my "What the Hell?" fic. But I gotta know what you guys think of it. Anyway, it's PG for language. Raven would be very happy if you reviewed.)

She'd been shopping for a new CD when the building collapsed.

Some monster was attacking some construction site or whatever. She honestly didn't give a shit, but she told him later that she was terrified. An attack wasn't that rare here, but it used to happen more than it did now. The heroes were gone. She remembered being younger, following the stories on the news. Are they going to save the world today, Mommy? Of course, of course, dear, this happens every day. And her mother sighed, and walked away. _This is what we are now, you know._

She never had known what that meant, and honestly didn't think about it that much. Briefly crosses the mind once in a while. Now, maybe, or perhaps an hour ago, but it was nothing more than a thought, a mantra that she repeated in her mind. _This is what we this is what we this is what we are._ Sometimes she didn't even know it was there when she thought it.

He kisses her now, and it pops through her mind. She's almost afraid to kiss him back, but she's more than almost afraid not to. She doesn't know what he'd see.

When she looks back on it, she was almost numb to the thought back when Jump City was a crime center. She saw the Titans a couple times. She owed her life to each of them more than once. Earthquakes and fires and crime, oh my. Earthquakes were like fires and crime because sometimes, people died. Sometimes parent people died. She tells herself that they would rather have died than be saved like some kind of extra in a movie. A supporting role. They never wanted to live that way but that was their purpose, this is what they are. Were. She can't tell the difference.

And oh my god, like a slap in the face. They're dead.

She's so overcome that she kisses him back now. She's crying and crying and her face is covered in tears and WHY DOESN'T HE NOTICE! But he brushes his hand over her cheek and he can't feel the wet, even though the tears must have gotten through the thin fabric of his gloves. She's bawling in his arms and he feels the pressure of their bodies and he sees her smiling happily. She knows this. She doesn't mind.

She remembers when they met.  
Teen Titans like washed up teen idols from a long time ago. Things weren't what they used to be. Return from a place far away, but they were gone, left, abandon us all and leave us to die. And the people of Jump City had gotten over their heroes, too. No more pictures of Robin and Cyborg and Beast Boy on the wall, no more Starfire in the locker. Dirty jokes spoken in the hallways, and nervous giggles. And always, _don't let them come back_ in the corner of the mind. 

If they came back, we'd be victims again. We'd be nothing.  
The first time she heard that, the thoughts came back full-force. _THIS IS WHAT WE ARE! THIS! NOTHING ELSE, EVER AGAIN! THIS IS WHAT WE ARE, AND REMEMBER THAT, REMEMBER THAT OR YOU'LL BE CRUSHED WHEN YOU FIND IT OUT ON YOUR OWN_ and where the hell did that come from? She would maybe have remembered if she didn't instantly forget it. 

"Terra?" he asked her later on, and at first she didn't know why. Brown hair, green eyes, curvy build, suntan, basic antithesis of Terra. Her friends had giggled at him as he said the sweet things reserved for another girl, another girl that she just simply could not be mistaken for. And she realized her couldn't see her, only Terra, and (wow, Serena was right, those two DID have a thing for each other, Tina would have screamed if she didn't stop caring about the Titans) might as well forget them both and see what happens now.

That day she saw that sometimes he could hear what she said, and sometimes he couldn't. She didn't know all the things that were different to him than to the world. Saw the girls and boys lined up like pretty matching paper dolls in uniforms, never saw the tight khaki jeans and the pink tank top that she wore just for him. Terra would never have dressed like that. The other day, something about amnesia popped up in the conversation, as if she'd told him this. But her problem, perhaps, was that she remembered too much

--We interrupt this program with breaking news. An earthquake occured earlier today in Steel City, injuring 5 people and killing 2. The two deaths were a married couple, who inexplicably hid in their crumbling house instead of leaving to await rescue. Local superheroes arrvied and were able to rescue their seven-year-old daughter from the wreckage. The quake is believed to be caused by a child with geomancer powers, named Tara Markov. DO NOT BE FOOLED BY HER APPEARANCE, HER POWERS CAN CAUSE INJURY, SEVERE PROPERTY DAMAGE, OR EVEN DEATH. If you see Markov, call--

about the past. Forgive and forget, forgive and forget, you owe your life to her three times over, so take two away and you're still in her debt, you know.

The first time he almost saw her, really saw her, was when she told him to leave. And told him, and told him, and told him. And he left her school, went away to fight crime or whatever teenage superheroes do these days. But she knew he'd be back to see her, and she knew she'd go with him.

She wasn't herself anymore, but she wasn't unhappy. She wonders if she's given another life to Terra, but she doesn't really care. He kisses her, and holds her, and sometimes he tells her things he thinks she already knows. He gave her the box, and she was puzzled because there was no real box for him to give. Superimposed upon a girl, upon a romance, upon a friendship even. She wonders if he'd hate her. She thinks that now, he would. Sometimes when he heard her, it breaks his heart, so she's been talking less and less. She lets him fill in the gaps with Terra's voice, Terra's words. She hasn't gone back to her foster parents for a couple days, and she's pretty sure that they haven't reported her missing. They won't.

It's really not so bad. She is the victim, and he is the hero, and yesterday she told him, "This is we are, this is what we are, what we'll always be until we can find another skin to wear." She was crying again. And he heard her say, "I love you", and smile.


End file.
